Bang-bang, pow-wow, bash-crash, vroom-zooom! That’s the simple code to describe the much-awaited, all-time-high Bollywood grosser – Pathan – which was released last week after months of hype and multi-pronged publicity stunts.

The cash registers are ringing in cinemas in 100 countries, where the film was simultaneously released, and Yash Raj Films and their lucky icon Shah Rukh Khan are raking in the moolah like never before. And the fact that curious movie-buffs have made a beeline at theatres, following excellent trailors released on social media, is enough assurance that the film has already made its projected revenues.

But what about the storyline and treatment? Do fans get anything new that they haven’t yet seen? We’d leave that blank for you to fill, that is, after you’ve seen the film and made your contribution towards the box office collections.

The movie, minus King Khan’s iconic status and Deepika’s charming screen presence, is nothing but a hotch-potch of many blockbusters of the past decade, including the Dhoom series, Bang Bang, Ek Tha Tiger, Tiger Zinda Hai, War, et al. So if mindless action is your cup of tea, slurp this with pleasure. But, if you are interested in story, emotion, comedy, family drama, you might as well sit at home and watch your favourite TV soap.

The fourth instalment in the YRF Spy Universe, directed by Siddharth Anand of Bang Bang fame (fame?), the film is about Pathan, an exiled RAW agent (SRK), who must work with ISI agent Rubina (Deepika Padukone) to take down Jim (John Abraham), a former RAW agent-turned-traitor, who is planning to spread a deadly lab-generated virus across India.

The film begins with a grey scale ambience and you see much of it all through, except in the song sequence of ‘Besharam Rang‘ when Deepika’s colourful bikinis lights up the screen. There’s much powder and shot in the rest of the scenes.

By the way, if you’re wondering, that song was thrown in only for spice and had no connection whatsoever with the plot. We are still wondering why the director chose to introduce a female soldier and ISI agent from Pakistan gyrating in swimwear, with plenty of pelvic thrusts, in a poolside pub in Spain.

And, to be honest, if flashes of that song sequence weren’t included in the promos, Pathan would never turn out to be the blockbuster that it is now made out to be. Watch it, but not worth telling someone not to miss it.

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