Ides of September

Beware the Ides of September, which unlike that of March does not fall on the 15th of this month but is actually today…the 13th day of September! Two years ago the Ides of September was not on an alternate Wednesday, yet it did get written about in TT-138. And from 138 to 186 has been some journey indeed…while some 48 columns were written in two years, the mind-set of people appears to have regressed by some 480 years or so. 

With due apologies to Tennyson:

“Megalomaniacs to the right of us,
Narcissists to the left of us,
Jokers in front of us
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
Cowardly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Bent on pushing us as well
Rode those damned idiots.”

I seem to have suddenly developed anaphylaxis- for the uninitiated, it means a severe life-threatening allergy to nuts and for the initiated it means that apart from nuts, the allergy also includes morons. So with half the world being filled with both these varieties, sanity is obviously at a premium and so are anti-allergy medicines!

To add fuel to the fire, there are these two guys out there ready to do Tennyson’s “half a league, half a league, half a league onwards” bit, with one unbalanced idiot firing a ballistic missile and testing a potentially deadly hydrogen bomb, while the other not so bright guy pushing to impose even tougher sanctions, and the first guy threatening to “tame” the second guy by “taking a series of actions tougher than they have ever envisaged” and the second guy sort of thinking “Oh yeah? Well I’ll show you. My missile is bigger than yours!” And with all these games being played, my nut allergy seems to be now going through the roof… .

Meanwhile even Mother Nature now seems to have taken objections to these puerile and imbecilic parrying and Irma la Douce turned into Irma la Avenger and wreaked havoc in Cuba and Florida. Till the day before, the storm was hurtling down with winds at 105 kilometres per hour pummeling cities in northeast Florida that had not expected to feel its full wrath. No amount of apologies was going to quench Irma’s thirst for destruction and as Becky Allen has written “The future was chaos, war and blood and thirst, ending with everyone’s bones bleached white in the desert. The sand would bury their buildings and bodies, and eventually it would be impossible to tell that anyone had lived in the desert at all.”

There were, however, no deserts around there but only water and that not-so-bright-bloke out there decided to show Irma who was Boss and vowed a full response to her. “These are storms of catastrophic severity and we are marshaling the full resources of the federal government to help our fellow citizens.” Marshal on you petulant child… . Mother Nature neither cares nor does it make a difference to her!

Meanwhile, in New York another kind of hurricane devastated the Flushing Meadows as Rafa went on to win his 16th Grand Slam title decimating Kevin Anderson.

In the women’s finals, the unseeded Sloane Stephens found the key to success and whipped Madison Keys 6-3; 6-0! But the star of the Flushing Meadows and the angel of the courts was Martina Hingis, who wrapped up the women’s doubles and the mixed doubles finals in style, despite not having teamed up with long time partners Sania Mirza and Leander Paes. Oh well...blessed are those who never expect for they are never disappointed!

And before I sign off, a few random thoughts:

Do you know that I grew a white goatee thinking I would be considered a ‘distinguished gentleman’, but instead I am being referred to as that ‘old guy’?
Do you know that the question isn’t at what age I want to retire? It’s at what income I can afford to retire!
Do you know that the draught of vintage is supposed to improve with age? I, on the other hand, improve with that draught of vintage!

Till next fortnight... .

And it’s Bacchus time with old friends back in town!

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